Blog

Picture this: it’s your first week at U-M. You walk into your first class along with the 200 plus other people in a Mason Hall auditorium and sit in the first empty seat you can find. The scary/embarrassing thought crosses your mind again – will I ever find my people?

This isn’t a Michigan phenomenon; many people go into college under pressure to find their people as soon as possible. This is a ridiculous expectation to put on yourself – or anyone. You’re already adjusting to living in a dorm, having a roommate, eating in a cafeteria, and sitting in big lecture halls – it's enough to make anyone feel overwhelmed.

I challenge all freshmen (or anyone looking to make friends) to actively practice these tips:

Use the first semester to your advantage

If you’re a first-year student, or even if you take classes available to first-years, people will expect you to introduce yourself, especially during the first couple of weeks. Don’t be shy – say hi to the people sitting around you!

Don’t expect other people to ask you to hang out

A lot of freshmen experience Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) at some point during their first semester and it's often because they expect other people to invite them out. But if you constantly rely on others to ask you to hang out, you might never leave your room. Take the first step and invite others to hang out with you.

Accept rejection

With that being said, the act of putting yourself out there does come with rejection from time to time. Not everyone will vibe with you – and that’s okay – because there will be people who do.

Take a small class

It’s a lot easier to meet others if you’re in a class with fewer people, preferably one that meets three to four times a week, like a language course (the Residential College also offers many smaller classes). Not only is this a good way to dip your toes into college academics, you may also feel more comfortable talking with other people in this environment.

Get a job

Finding a job where other students (or just good people) work, like Michigan Dining or one of the Rrecreational centers, is one of the most underestimated ways to meet people on campus. (It’s important to note that many people must work to pay for their college expenses, but even if you don’t have to work, I highly recommend doing so if you can make time in your schedule.)

Keep your door open

This might be a classic piece of advice you’ve heard from others before, but I’ve still met freshmen that don’t take advantage of what an open door in a quiet hallway can do.

Join student orgs, Greek life, i.e. get involved!

If you’re anything like I was freshman year, you probably went to Festifall on Friday and collected a couple dozen flyers. Take five minutes out of your day to pick two or three organizations you want to be a part of and actively invest your time in at least one.

Join Intramural teams

Looking to meet people and stay active? Michigan offers tons of low-commitment recreational sports like ultimate frisbee and soccer.

Don’t expect to replace your high school friends

This was probably my biggest takeaway from my first semester of freshman year. I went into university thinking I was going to make friends that liked to do the same things or acted the same way that my high school friends did. But your college friends will fulfill a different kind of friendship and that’s a good thing, even if it takes time to accept.

Seek support

If you are experiencing loneliness or distress, seeking help from friends, family, or student organizations that promote mental health is important. But also don’t be intimidated by professional services like CAPS and Wolverine Wellness – they exist for students.

Patience

Now...here’s the hard part: you might not find your people the first week, or even the first semester. You might discover that you just don’t click with your welcome week friends and meet new people later in the year. But that’s okay!

Be patient. Be persistent. Everyone around you is experiencing or has already experienced the same uncertainty that you face as a freshman. Breathe a little, don’t take things too seriously, and remember - you got this.